We All Want Control

I'll admit it, I have control issues.  I kinda like it when things go a certain way...mine.  I think if we were all being honest with each other, we would say the same thing. 

When does CONTROL become a bad thing?  When we can't see the other person's perspective.  When we can't imagine life any other way, but how we laid it out.  When we find ourselves forcing others to do what we want them to do. 

BUT, what if the idea of control changes?  If someone colors outside of the lines, we used to label them as non-compliant, now maybe we want to know why they did what they did and understand them more.  If someone wants to do something differently than how you want them to do it, maybe we think about it and engage them in the solution.  If forcing the existing model doesn't work, collaboratively, we come up with one that does. 

Has the power shifted?  Has the relationship changed; for the better or the worse?  Have we lost and if so, what?  Have we gained and if so, what?  Does control simply mean something different than it used to?  We all want control, but are we okay knowing that it changes, moves and adapt and are we doing all those in step?

From a control freak to anyone out there reading this, I ask you to ask yourself, what are you controlling and what is controlling you?  Keep going....simply, keep going. 

Wisdom From a Nine Year Old

During our weekly house cleaning on Saturday morning, the three kids were bickering about who had to do what.  My youngest daughter, 9 years old but wise beyond her years, looked at her older brother and said, "No one gets anywhere in life by just sitting around, so get up and do something!" 


It was then that I thought, "Now there is a girl who gets it!"  She knows that for years to come, she is going to have to work for things she wants.  Today it might be a sleepover at a friends, but tomorrow it might be that dream job. 

I hear about kids who don't have chores, who don't know what hard work is all about, who have the world handed to them and I think, "Someone might have to hire them someday or worse yet, marry them!" 

Trust, there are times I am telling to my kids to "get up and do something" because they are kids.  There are times that her brother is telling her to get to work!  There are times they are telling me to get to work....that's human nature, but we all know what hard work is and when the work is done, we feel great about it.  So, while working hard as a wife, mother, employee and volunteer, I'll keep going.  

Problem Solving

Last week I saw a picture on Facebook of a man and his grown son working hard on an outside project.  (I am proud to say have known both of these men since I was little and physical labor is nothing new to them!)  They were moving a piece of a wall with old fashioned ingenuity and strength.  I can tell you that neither of them went to Pinterest, Google or YouTube to figure out how to do it.  They looked at the goods and materials they had at their disposal and figured it out.  Sure, they may have been more creative ways to do this, but they got the job done. 

How many times do you try to figure something out and instead of looking around, you look down?  You look at an app, a video or board with suggestions on how to fix the problem.  Trust me, I think finding new ways to do things is fun and exciting, but let’s not forget that thinking and ingenuity have solved problems or created solutions for years. 

My call to action this week, next time you need to solve a problem, take a few minutes and just think about it like the men I referenced above did.  The greatest thinkers of our time created remarkable tools and solutions on their own and I believe most of you can do exactly the same thing!  In pondering the next best thing, I keep going!

The Power of Social Media

Last week, I sat back and watched the power of social media in my own home.  Tuesday night at 9:00pm my 14 year old daughter found out, via a Facebook post, that a friend was leaving the area due to her father’s job change.  The typical comments and emoticons started to fly.  Then, an idea, “Let’s have a going away for her!”

By noon the next day, the event was planned;  the location secured, the invites sent (to the entire freshman class), the responses being tallied and the party was ready.  The party was held less than 48 hours after people hearing about her leaving and almost half of the class was there!  (Some had other commitments which makes sense when you pull a party together and have it in less than 48 hours!) 

Think about this event even two years ago.  Someone would have called someone and they called someone else and they would have been sad.  Then, an hour later, someone would have an idea about a going away, more calls would have ensued and planning would have taken a week, maybe more.  Then starts another round of calls to make sure people knew about it and then who was going to make sure there was enough food because no one would know WHO is coming, just that people were invited!! 

The power of SOCIAL media can make things happen with lightning speed.   It can be used to plan parties, protest or promote an idea, dispense information and even save lives.  Some believe that social media is making the world more introverted because they don’t have to ever see anyone.  I believe, like anything else, if used properly, it can be a great tool.  For one 14 year old girl who is moving away from her school and friends, it made her feel like a queen for a day and that’s awesome!    And while she and her family prepare to move, I keep going. 

A Little Experiment....

On a recent shopping excursion, I was looking for something VERY specific, shock cord to restring a broken tent rod.  I decided to use this as a little experiment.  I decided to go to three stores, big box have everything store, small scale chain store and lastly, locally owned small business store.  My experiment would be to wander the aisle looking for something and see how long it took for someone to, 1 - Notice me and ask if I needed help and 2 - Give me proper guidance on the product I am looking for.  In all honesty, I thought that actually finding what I needed would simply be a bonus in this process. 

Big Box - You guess it, I roamed for 10 minutes holding the example of the product in my hand until someone said, "Can I help you find something?"  I showed them my example and they told me they didn't carry it.  Then, I went looking on my own and sure enough found it.  Brought it to the check out counter, purchased and showed it to the person who asked me if I needed help.  FAIL! 

Small Scale Chain - AMAZING customer service!  I walked in the door, was greeted by cashiers and someone immediately asked if there was something specific I was looking for.  (Remember, I had the example product in my hand.)  They walked to the department and introduced me the "head" of that department.  Within seconds, I had the product in my hand and even some guidance and best practices on how to use it!  I will go so far as to name this company because they are a "hometown brand" but are expanding, maybe to city near you!  Scheels Sporting Goods, you are awesome! 

Local Small Business - Good customer service, very personable and helpful but because I was there as the same time as 5-6 others, I had to wait for service.  In the end, they didn't have what I needed, but they told me where to find it and some questions I should ask before I buy it. 

When companies build and pride themselves on customer service and satisfaction, it shows.  When companies take time to listen to their customers and guide them, even when they can't help, it makes a difference.  In this experiment, I returned my product to the big box, reaffirmed my fondness for Scheels and found the service at local store worth another trip back there to make a purchase or two in the future. 

With a fixed tent rod and extra shock cord for the next incident, I keep going! 

When Taxes Are Taxing

Let me start with some facts.  The other day, I was looking at a few itineraries and these points made me scratch my head, not in disbelief but in disappointment.  (Note, to protect any pricing or contracts, I am not using negotiated rates nor supplier names, but trust me, that doesn't change the story!) 

Round-trip international airline ticket, in business - $5414.00

1. Base fare on that ticket, meaning the portion of the ticket that can be discounted - $3439.00  
2. The other $1975 was made up of taxes, fees and surcharges.  
3. Of that, just under $1000 was a fuel surcharge. That's right, almost 20% of the cost of the ticket goes directly to the carrier to help cover their fuel costs and companies don't get a single penny of that to count toward corporate contracts.  

Car rental from the airport rental counter - $69.24/day

1. The base rate on that rental - $53.07/day
2. In some cities, travelers are paying for things like new stadiums, road construction and other "special projects" simply because we traveled to that city.   
3. Per day taxes are $16.17
4. Let's say this was a 3 day rental - $207.72

Hotel reservation at the mid-tier, city center hotel - $225.82/night

1. Booked rate on the hotel - $194.00/night
2. In this city, there two taxes; city and state. 
3. Per day taxes are $31.82
4. Again, a 3 night stay - $677.46

Let's recap this:

Cost of air, car, hotel - $6299.18
Taxes/Fees for above - $2118.97
Just over 1/3 of the cost of the trip is for taxes and fees.  Some are passed off to the federal, state or local government entities and some are held by the supplier to subsidize their programs. 

Most of my peers know these facts painfully, but if not, maybe this will make you think about travel and travel spend differently.  Until the next time, keep going. 

New Travelers on the Block

In a recent event, I realized there are some first time travelers out there that could probably use a bit of advice from someone like me.  So, here you go:

1 – When you give the airline a phone number, give them a number where they can reach you at all times.  Not your home number, not your parents number and certainly not the number to your apartment where the lease is up soon! 

2 – There are times to be nice and times to be assertive.  Do not miss your flight simply because you were in a line.  Make it known that your flight is leaving and ask someone to help you.  Then, by all means, BE NICE!  Say, “Thank you.”  Say, “Excuse me.”  Say, “I appreciate your help.” 

3 – Never stand in a customer service line for 45 minutes to be told, “We can’t help you right now.”  Put on your assertive accessory and get the help you stood in line for!  Then, BE NICE! 

4 – Don’t assume because YOUR flight to a certain city is delayed that ALL flights to that city are delayed.  Look at an app, a flight board or talk to a live person.  Then, ask to be waitlisted on every flight from now until you are on your way.  It never hurts to ask, as long as you do it NICELY. 

5 – When you arrive at your destination and 3:00am, you still need to know where you are going.  Pay attention and don’t get on a bus or train until you know it’s the right one!  (Better yet, at 3:00am, take a taxi.  Most people will understand!)

6 – Never opt to save $20 by taking an extra connection.  In the end, that $20 will cost you time, money and patience. 

7 – Travel isn’t about who can be in line first or who throws the biggest fit.  It’s about dollars and sense…common sense.  If you are number 33 on the waitlist and there are only 6 seats, your chances are slim to none.  Getting there 4 hours ahead of anyone else will not mean you get the seat.  It will mean that spend 4 hours waiting around.  Be realistic in your expectations. 

Travel is good when it works, but can the worst experience in the world when things go wrong.  Be patient without losing assertiveness.  Be nice without allowing people to push you around.  Be helpful and respectful to your fellow passengers and the people who work in this crazy industry because in the end, we will all eventually end up where we need to be.  Not every trip will be like this and when they are, keep going!